…as this will likely result in angst. Such as running into the back of a shiny silver ooh-I-import-all-my-bits-from-Europe Volvo while in your 1998 Mazda 323.

When grouchy from shopping and hormones, and tired from growing an entire nervous system, do not attempt to second guess what driver in front is thinking when trying to filter into a main highway. Do not, for instance, assume that he will commit to driving off once he’s made all sounds and actions of doing so. And then do not assume that you can take off from a standing start while inclining your head to oncoming traffic, only to be able to stop in time when said driver in front has changed his mind because he is a numpty and cannot recognise an empty road stretching out before him, even if said expanse of space came up to him and yelled, “You can move now!!!”.

Also, do not be a silly git and jump out of the car to apologise, BEFORE belatedly remembering that you are mad with him for being so indecisive. However, it is good to keep calm and take plenty of photographs with your camera phone, and not to return with a glib gibe – no matter how tempting – when other driver gleefully tells you that he will make a claim from your insurance because he gets cars running into the back of his behind all the time, “and the insurance people are about to increase his premium”.

Try not to feel too embarrassed that you and said driver are the poster children for Bad Asian Drivers everywhere as you stand there in broad daylight with camera phones in hand – you a Bad Asian Lady Driver from Singapore, he from China.

Work on appeasing even grouchier husband who will be sorely inconvenienced during the Christmas break – and $450 poorer.

Tell all your friends, so you can learn to start laughing about it. And then praise God that it was only a tiny tap, that you were taking off in first, and that nothing horrible happened while operating heavy machinery when grouchy.

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