So I’m starting to feel a wee bit self-conscious about the belly, because I am STICKING OUT. And I’m only 15 weeks and 2 days, really. But I’ve been sticking out since last week. And I have 173 days to go.

Checked the pregnancy weight gain chart, and I’m actually a little below average. So it’s not about those butterscotch biscuits I seem to enjoy now and then. (My “‘dairy intake”. )Or perhaps it is, because it sure isn’t muscle that I’m gaining. I still have skinny legs and arms, and today I wore a pair of burgundy Nine Wests that I usually pair off with this dress from Cue I love (because it’s SO EASY to iron, and I can wear it still…).

Except, of course, the heels were typically Nine West stilts. So instead of looking short and pregnant, I looked ridiculous. Like a purple flamingo. Long neck, big cuddly middle, chopstick legs.

What is it about the size of the bump that makes bump-carriers so insecure? I’ve heard that one of the most surprisingly cruel things to say to a pregnant woman is either, “You’re so big!” or “You’re so tiny!” because her immediate reaction is “I’m getting TOO big because I’m larding up!” or “I’m starving my runt to deeeeeaaath!” In both cases, you can bet some 3rd world country’s GDP that she’s wondering – if only for a split second – if she’s the worst mother ever.

And the baby’s not even out yet.

Read a forum, where someone who was also 15 weeks pregnant was agonising whether she was normal to be showing that much. She sounded a lot like me – dress size 8, didn’t have much of a belly pre-pregnant, but now ballooning and feeling all rather self-conscious. My favourite pick was the one who typed back,

You’re just bloated, hun. I’m 29 weeks and JUST started showing!

So much for sweet comfort of the sisterhood.

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