It doesn’t happen often, but occasionally someone at work will accidentally enter the “_all users” option in the address field and send a private email to the entire company.

All 1,200 of us.

There was one time a few years ago when someone sent the entire company an invoice for cleaning services relating to “feminine hygiene”. Needless to say, that email got retracted rather quickly. The second email that went out read pretty much like this:

“Apologies for previous email. Obviously not meant to go out to everyone.

“Sorry for the incontinence.”

I’ve been reading about pregnancy incontinence, lately. Fact: about 40% of pregnant women experience some involuntary peeing during pregnancy, and about 30% have incontinence after delivery. That’s, like, 2 in 5 for the first instance, and 1 in 3 for the second. Those are freakishly high odds. Another study gave odds as high as 79%. That is a lot of accidental pee.

It gets worse. You can pee when you’re laughing, coughing or sneezing. I laugh often and loud. I also sneeze in multiples of three. There is no single get-it-out-of-the-system ha-choo for me. It’s ha-Choo! Ha-chee! Chee! Chee! Chee! Chee! Ha-CHEE! ‘Scuse me, sorry, epileptic fit, don’t mind me…

And now they tell me I’m going to inadvertently wet myself, on top of that?

I have no idea what pelvic floor muscles are and how to exercise them. Or whether I’m even moving the right muscles when I do. But man, am I going to work those babies.

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