Who cares, because I’ve been feeling doughy. Happy, ecstatic even. But decidedly doughy.

My usual ritual in the mornings now is to make a cheese toasty because it’s oh-so-nice and hot, and I say it gives me calcium. Usually I make a cup of black tea while the toast is a-toasting.

Today, I turned around after making my cup of tea, only to discover that I had already made one earlier, and that it was sitting pretty for me on the opposite bench. My colleagues thought that was a hoot. I, however, had absolutely no recollection of making the first cup of tea. I still don’t, and I’m mildly mortified.

NewFromMattel had a conspiratorial giggle with me over the incident, and confided how she had happily swapped the right and left of her high heels. It took her a while to realise that something was amiss. That happened AFTER she looked down and realised that her feet looked wrong.

Mumnesia. Also known as pregnant brain. In 2008, they claimed it was a medical fact. In 2010, they said it’s just a myth. Who knows what the morrow may bring. Some women laud the fact that scientists have apparently mythbusted mumnesia.  Something about empowerment for pregnant women. As if playing natural incubator to a whole human being wasn’t empowering enough.

See, I have no such qualms owning up to the fact. Because feeling like you’re walking through a fog is not the same as being stoopid. And even though I may feel stoopid, I know my mental faculties are intact. It just takes a little longer for the signals to automagically connect.

There are a few anecdotal reasons as to our gooey state.

  1. We’re getting less quality zzzz.
    Not because we’re packing the extra weight lately, although I’m sure that does something to the posture after a while. We’re getting tired because we’re losing deep sleep. Part of it is due to the sleepwalks to the ladies room at 4am. Part of it is just pregnant hormones lengthening our REM state so we get less deep sleep and crazy-dream more. And guess what’s the side effect of lack of sleep? Impaired memory and thought processes. Also known as 2 cups of tea before and after the cheese-toasty manufacture.
  2. Incoming brain content: the motherlode
    Growing a human being is a total brain suck. It adds 72.84% more content to that head space, kicking other minutiae out like Whether You’ve Shampooed Already. It’s hard to ignore something that is literally a part of you. It’s not like work, where you can leave the project and any incompetent colleague at the office to drown your sorrows in Buffy re-runs at home. The baby bump is there. In front of you. Making your clothes all snug . Giving you love handles you never had. Filling you with that gorgeous, smug feeling you promised you’d never have because you couldn’t stand the superiority complex of pregnant women in the past. Oookay, moving along…
  3. We ARE gooey-er.
    Pregnant shop assistant and I got to yakking about our growing clumsy-mumsy syndrome, and she told me the pregnant body is getting chockful of natural muscle relaxants. Makes sense – you’re about to whooshka a mini-me out your fanny. The last thing you’d want to be then is uptight. I have no idea if this is a medical fact, but I’m sticking to it. Because it explains why my psycho-motor skills are lousier than ever.  

So yeah. Mumnesia. If you’re all Pregnant Women Rawk! and don’t have it, well that’s wonderful. Just don’t rub it in our faces because we might bludgeon you with our now-reduced high-heel shoes. Um… if we remember to.