[Friday 1 April, 11.56pm. After Blobette had essentially pummelled me for a full half hour…]
Me: Guess what.
Me: I figured out how to placate Blobette. I fed her some chocolate.
Me: It works! She’s not kicking me anymore.
Tony: You didn’t get me any chocolate?!
Me: You weren’t kicking me.
Tony: Oh, I could learn to kick you…