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Finding The Happy

Looking for joy in all the right places

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Motherhood

The home of precious memories, the celebration of our family’s milestones

And framing matters.


There’s a lot of sound and fury lately in Australia about Same-Sex Marriage, Safe Schools, and gender education. On a personal front, it’s been an especially sobering year as I reflect on my own relationship with God, and contemplate deeply how God designed humankind and what that means for me, a woman made in His image. I took a deep dive into Genesis and I’m still confronted by the overarching narrative of how God and Christ treat women. Growing up, I thought I understood His design but the closer I’ve been looking at this, the more troubled I am by what I’m finding.

And I’ve been equal parts unsettled and unbelievably excited.

Thing is, I’m now looking at my daughter and my son, and the responsibility of what lies ahead looms ever larger. Do I want my daughter to grow up learning what I learnt about womanhood? Or my son, for that matter? I thought I believed in the equality of the sexes, but now I’m wondering if I didn’t grow up buying into a form of second-class citizenship in this world that isn’t just wrong, but heretical.

And I don’t want that for my daughter. And I don’t want that for my son.

Words have power, and our words matter because they articulate ideas, and all ideas have consequences. I spoke very briefly — and perhaps not articulately enough — yesterday about how words frame issues. We know that instinctively, and we’re confronted by examples every time. Someone I was chatting to online yesterday gave a common example. When a woman is out front organising people in an assertive way, is she being bossy? Is she behaving like a man? Or is she leading people? How we use words shape attitudes, and they teach both our young men and women a lot about what is “allowed” and what “isn’t” for each of them.

And we often clip both their wings in the process.

This stuff matters. It goes right to the core of things. And I want the right things for my children.

Sharing books from my childhood 

Arddun’s getting ready for Bigger School – transitioning next year from preschool to Kindy. And I suddenly got nostalgic about school and the books I used to read. 

Found these online and decided to buy them. This was the edition I had growing up – same illustrations, same paper smell. The Naughtiest Girl in the School was my second Enid Blyton and Big Girl book that I read on my own. (My first was The Three Golliwogs but even then, the font was too big for me to feel like I was reading a properly grown-up book.) 

I’m planning to read a chapter a night with Arddun. Hope she loves it as much as I did. 

Why I’ve started a Facebook Page

I’ve been blogging semi-regularly since I came to Canberra 13 years ago. To me, it has always been about keeping in touch with family and friends in Singapore and around the globe – an extension of my Facebook profile, really. A means of chronicling our moments and milestones, of keeping a loose scrapbook of my life in general and my children’s lives in particular.

And I dare say that for the most part, my blog will continue in that vein. I think having the children has sharpened the focus of my writing, and has in turn brought me a small but loyal following of readers within my family and friends. Thank you for keeping in touch all these years and for delighting in my delights. I love writing these open letters to you.

Continue reading “Why I’ve started a Facebook Page”

Yelled I to Atticus this morning:

STOP SNORTING YOUR PEAR CHIPS!

Let me explain.

Which isn’t too far off from what Arddun’s done before.

When your daughter gets called a Bitch

It happened when I least expected it. We were at a small indoor playground at the local mall we frequent. We had just finished lunch. I had groceries to grab. Atticus was due for a nap but he had been hankering for the playground, so there we were.

Continue reading “When your daughter gets called a Bitch”

#TBT: Super Girl then and now

Arddun has a birthday party coming up, and it’s the second superheroes-themed party she’s been invited to. Just as well that we bought her a Wonder Woman costume for the first one. I hope we still have all the bits and bobs, and it’s not lost somewhere in Deep Toy Space.

Wonder Woman strikes a pose
Wonder Woman strikes a pose
IMG_7273
Strong!
Wonder Woman has a think.
Wonder Woman has a think.

Anyway, nostalgia and a chance encounter with another Superhero costume led me to show Atticus what his sister’s first Superhero costume looked like, and he thought it was pretty awesome. It certainly brought Tony and I down memory lane. It also made us realise how much more articulate Arddun was when she was a tot.

View the full post of Super Arddun 3 years ago (26 July 2013).

 

Parenting as a lifestyle choice

Every now and then, talk fires up about tweaking family tax benefits and incentivising women to return to work through childcare benefits. And every now and then, murmuring inevitably crops up about subsidising what some deem to be “a mere lifestyle choice”.

Continue reading “Parenting as a lifestyle choice”

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