I’ve been trying to make the most of these holidays by diving into my fiction writing again, except everything that flies out from my fingers sounds false and corny. My theory is that I am a little too relaxed. I find I do my best writing when I’m under the pump and there are a heap of Better Things I Should Be Doing out there. Like actual work that pays money. Or my PSLEs.
Most nights when I’ve hit a rut, I write absolute gibberish until the magic starts working and the honest stuff pours onto the page hot and quick like runny lava.
Tonight, however, I drifted over to my cousin’s blog because I’d been looking for a specific turn of phrase she had used. She was the best writer I knew in real life, a record she still holds today. And I read her old posts and I can’t stop smiling because I can hear her voice and it’s like we’re on the phone for hours again all those years ago, and she’s making me laugh until I cry. And I miss her so much.
Death is very inconvenient.
I’m blaming Christmas. It brings out the weepies.
Finding The Happy 
TTT – Room (in my heart) and a view
1) Beautiful views
Eight years, seven months and four days ago, I came to Canberra and thought it a grey, lonely place. I couldn’t get over how abandoned it looked. How empty, lifeless. (It was a winter week night in Civic.)
But it’s hardly that. I just didn’t know where to look at the time.
We went to The Deck for afternoon tea yesterday. The sun was out, the grass was greener than I’d ever seen it, the waters were still and lovely. The cafe was empty save for the table of us, which meant we were treated to the most stunning view of the lake and Regatta Point. In air-conditioned comfort on a hot Summer’s day. Our babies, crawling and clapping at our feet, oblivious to the magnificent background they’ll one day inherit.
And I fell in love with Canberra all over again that afternoon.
NO PICTURE, though! What a pity!
2) Love notes
Read melancholic mooing. See loving, heartfelt comments. <3
3) Hello, friend
It’s the most natural thing, I realise. It’s such an easy trap to fall into. But with every new milestone I seem to reach in my adulthood, I see my friends less. It’s a two-way street. My timetable’s all different now, and the first few months with Arddun were busy as I tried to settle into my new role. But it’s almost like old friends don’t think to call you anymore when you reach a new stage of life, because they’ve already assumed you’d say no as you’re too busy. When actually, the opposite couldn’t be truer.
But then someone pinged me this week on Facebook, and this afternoon I found myself at Urban Pantry, thoroughly enjoying my linguine and the great company. And talking about non-mumsy things. And feeling HUMAN. A little bit of my old self, peeping through the laid-back jeans and wind-tossed hair. Before I was a mother, I was This Other Person. And she came out and had linguine today.